nv blog for months, but feeling realli low n down, no 1 to tok to so this is my las place to vent out my feelings, hope this 2 yrs of shit will quickly end, i hav being post to a shit place wit a shitty working schedule and the ppl there are sadistic bastards. i can take the tough, but everytime i try visualizing myself wad wil happen if i serve this shit after my o's hw different will it be nw, i will be working wad i always wan to do, in film, study part time, i had my plans. sometime i c my frens happily discussing work n sch i feel happy for them but sometimes jealous too... i realli wan to do those things of my passion, filming, watching movies, i badly badly badly wan to work, the feeling of no money, cant do the things i realli wan make me realli depress. everynite b4 slping all this thoughts keep caming to my end. luckily i had still frens who will ask me out which at least wun make me think during the weekends. i am heading a life of no where. i dunno wad am i goin to do in future. i dunno where i am heading. i wan to earn money to able to giv my parents every month. i wan to do the things i wan get the things i wan. i hope to hav a person to pour out my sorrows. sth everybody is jus real busy n u dunno wad to do. getting drunk cant even make me forget all this shit. i dunno wad is making me like tt, sth jus when someone nv reply or nv pick up my call when i wan someone to tok to makes me realli depress, the thod of nth to do during the weekend or burn my weekend inside tt place i rather die.

goin in soon. when will ths end. sorry blog always used u as my frustration ground. i am just grumbling. nw feeling slightly better. i can only look forward to the next weekend.

wo officiall my last post b4 goin army dunno if i will still be tt free to post any but i will try to update as much as possible on this blog. n hope to continue hearing news from u guys. n faj hahahah i miss ur accompany too although u r the loudest n most violent girl i ever know.

thanks guys for all the accompany n making time to meet up with me this past week even though u all r either working, crippled in kaili case, and busy, thanks sandy,takyee,jiayi,ade,kaili,rachael,ken zhang,alvin,eunice and my best fren hongyuan for meetin this last week of mine n fun n memorable.

n guys hope u all can come for graduation on jun20 no matter how busy u all r k!!! n hopefully i will be free 1 whole day n hope to gather for dinner with u guys(hopefuly fisn n co again at glass house) pass the msg around k!!!

take care everybody, miss u guys i will keep tinking of u all throughout my lonely time inside! : )

i guess my previous post of movie reviews is not veri well received. guess i am not cut out to be a movie critic hoho.

the day is getting nearer.

if got a choice i wun wan to let go ... somehow everybody is veri happy school is finally over, but somehow i realli love sch and friends and of course wad i am studying.

i miss production life, miss receeing around touring and fin out some realli special places in spore, get to eat realli good food at places tt u will nv thod of goin in ur whole life, carrying tons of heavy equiptment in early 5am morning or 12 midnite for shoots, toking nonesense n jk around with crew and cast, i miss staying overnight for days outside the bakery talking throughout the nite eating hot and fresh breads, i miss shooting at bus stops for consecutive days with all public eyes on us, i miss travelling from locations to location on aurelia dad lorry, i miss climbing mountains and walking through forests to find suitables spots.

i miss sch, i will miss editing in the avid room watch dvds and playing with my paper soccer ball, i miss acting realli stupid and being gaying in the studio studio project, dead corpse, being extra in short film and being a stupid gangster in a stupid short and i bet nobody in the indsutry or anybody will be willing to pay me to act again, thanks for all the actign chances u all giv me. i miss staying overnite in sch and hide urself from the security to nt get caught.

i miss thailand surin yep, an important part of my life, where i get to bond and realise the really great friends i had, i miss running around in 4 am in the morning finding to find the sunrise which had nv been found, i miss sitting by the shelter by the river talking crap and playing stupid name games, i miss playing with the naive kids and acting like a big kid myself dancing and playing all day and night. i miss chasing gecko and end up being chase away by them.

i miss all the ktv sessions i had, i miss voiceout the first singing competiton i join n won which i will nv had thod of join all my life. i miss acting like a fake nigga singing nigga songs.

i miss going to zoo to draw stupid hawk and musuem drawing statues with friends although i am nt gd at drawing, i miss drawing the thousands sheets of rice sacks in the animation studio n buying 1 dollars nuggets and wedges at the south canteen.

i miss playing sports in sch although my bunch of fren are nt realli sporty ppl which cause me to rate severly obese by mindef. i miss playing bball b4 cp1 lesson n get scold by danny kon for appear smelly n late in class. i miss playing soccer in the hockey pitch and joining competition even though we always get knock out in the first round. i miss playing badminton with the girls even though they are quite bad at it.

i will miss all the overnight mahjong sessions.

and last and most of all. i miss all the friends i had. i love u guys. u all gave me a great 3 yrs. n hope this friendship will last forever. thanks so so so so so so much guys.

since i am so free today i will do a free movie review for the recent movies i watch. u guys r so lucky.

Poseidon- 3 and a quarter/5 ---> Poor start and poor ending. No character development. After i watch finish the movie i dun even rem a single name of the actor in the show. Quite entertaining in the middle though.

Da vinci code 3 ---> i walk into the cinema so excited to watch this movie and i walk out a sian guy. For all the hype and good cast the show is nv gan chiong and the cast chemistry r terrible especially tom hanks and audrey tautou!!!! 2 of my fav actors!!!

Matador 4 stars---> This is the best role and most unique role Pierce Brosman everhad. The story is sort of nt brilliant but entertaining.

Kiss Kiss bang bang 3 and a quarter stars---> i am a crime and thriller movie lover but this 1 realli disappoints me. no more kissing n not realli alot of banging. i bang on the wall though accidentely watching the movie. abit cheesy too.

Inside Man 3 and 3 quarter---> i am a big lover of clive owen, i tink he is underrated for a actor. he make this movie so cool and style. veri intelligent story it makes u tinking throughout and even after watching the movie.

Sympathy of lady vegeance 3 and half stars ---> I am a big fan of Park Chan Wook and his oldboy. Oldboy is kick ass. This 1 however is alright. Its still the director typical stylish movie. But in this the director seems to go over style over substance. Oldboy is so tense n gan chiong but in this quite draggy n boring narration. but da chang jin lead is kickass.

8 below 3 and 3 quarter stars ---> dogs are kickass and inside the movie the dogs are cute and kickass.

History of Violence 3 stars---> wah liao i thod this movie veri gd sia i read imdb some ppl still rate top movie of the yr. sucks lor quite violent la but i also can be veri violent . violent mus gt entertainment wad. liek i slap u ur head fly off violent n funny wad. this 1 violent den nth liao.

Match point 3 and 3 quarter stars---> woody allen finally make a watchable film. wow this movie is sexual and gan chiong. the girls inside r beautiful especially one of my fav scarlet johansoon. the twist of the movie is gd its moves nicely from romance->drama->crime->thriller wow gd movie.

walk the line - 4 stars --> joaquin pheonix is kickass. he sings so well make me wan to buy the movi soundtrack. gd music gd movie.

fun with dick and jane 3 stars ---> i luv jim carrey but i did nt had any fun with dick and jane in this movie.

duma 3 and 3 quarter ---> cool movie its almost a animal planet movie. u get to see cheetahs, crocodiles, giraffes, lions, tigers, lioness, snake, the iceage tt veri cute small n big eyes animal and humans.

secondhand lions 3 and 3 quarter ---> it is like nanny mcphee n lemony snicketts type of movie. a small child abandon by his mum to live with 2 weird uncles who had disappear for 40 yrs and rumored to have kept millions of cash in their house. this is definely better den the 2 other movies. n no lion inside only one old lioness tt dies in less den 15 mins of screen time.

producers 3 stars ---> its a okay movie. i like the comedy part but i hate those musicals tt keep singing instead of talking. gosh imagine i doin tt everyday in real life.

3 times 0 stars ---> the worst movie i ever watch easily summaried.

okay since its so fun i will rate my all time top 10 favourite movie. everybody can leave in my comments their top 10 fav movies also n c whose list is more kickass.

1: Milliondollar baby ---> veri kickass
2. Matchstick men ---> wonderful performance by nicholas cage and stylish directing by ridley scott
3. kill bill vol.1- tarantino is kickass x 10
4. infernal affairs -> top movie by splendid cast and excellent filmography
5. pulp fiction -> tarantino kickass x 10, so far tarantino is kickass x 100 cause 10 x 10 equal 100
6. chungking express---> wong kar wai old movies are kickass and sophiscated to watch in an entertaining manner
7. oldboy --> this is kickass
8. closer ---> worth natalie portman is kickass
9. city of god-> kickass x 5
10. sin city -> tarantino friends are kickass. somehow everybody are beginning to become kickass.

I am simply too free so had to post this to take away 5-10 mins of my time. i am simply bored bored bored. i spend the past week battling sorethroat, super bad flu and now block nose. and of course watching dvds.

wah liao and somemore i goin ns soon. wah liao everynight i cant slp sia den visualize myself in the army uniform in 16 days time. den i also sort of prepare myself by watching war movies like saving private ryan, jarhead n behind enemy lines. its kind of psych me up. and even though i try to force myself to go train up my stamina in case i appear in the news the next day the fastest ns men to die during national service. and visualize my passport photo wit my tt bird mohth wearing a cork spects cause tts the last passport photo i take in a long time. omg i will disgrace all the decrestants of the oh family.

wah liao how ar everynight cannot slp lei!!!

omg i am so bloody bored n broke. i guess this past 1 week i spent my time at home watch the movies equal to wad i can watch in half a yr.

and school and grades are over so jus get over it. i dun wanna lose a friend again because of this. jus wan to say this again one last time.

DFV lecturers suck my ass.

Fusion is finally over and now i am quietly waiting at home for my NS 2nd of June.

This week is being a damn boring week... Cause most of my friends had already started working and seldom had time to meet up or hang out together. Hais... Somehow jealously came to my mind looking at my friends who are able to start their "career" and i had to wait 2 more years and by tt time i dun tink alot of employers will wan to hire someone wit no experience and last do sth tt he learn more den 2 yrs ago... i had quite a no. of job offers but when they know u going ns they jus dun feel liek entertain u anymore... everybody is looking for girls editor, producers, graphic... but nevertheless i am glad for my friends too to be able to find a job so soon and share their experiences with me like sandy, jiayi, kaili, ade, rachael and i definely know wit ur talents u will find a job soon easily takyee hahahah so dun worry.

I went to my female cousin 21st bd las fri who happen to be in the same yr as me... Gosh its being so fast... i am able to walk into a cinema soon and watch RA movie without borrowing a friend ic... her party was er such a party... the people crowded until i and my cousins cannot even find a place to sit so we jus go there drop the gift and leave in jsut 15 mins. wah hear her goin to be a air stewardess... wah liao everybody gt job!!! n i feel like a poor out of job lazy getting fed by parents useless brat.

hope all my friends will still able to keep in touch often,,, wad i worried most is to lost a bunch of good kicking ass fun bunch of friends to time and national service.

gosh i better start to relearn how to sing the national anthem.

I CANT BELIEVE AFTER YESTERDAY WAD I POST ABT UNFAIR GRADES I GT A EVEN MORE UNFAIR NEWS TODAY!!!

My grp 1 person get DIST for FYP n the rest A. PLS MAN. I DO THE MOST FOR FYP!!! I ALMOST SINGELE HANDELY COME SCH EVERYDAY TO DO SCS N I EDIT LIKE SHIT TO RESCUE THE SHORT FILM!!! N WTH!!! I GET A only~~~~ ITs nt the person who get dist who is the fault ITS THE LECTURERS FAULT!!!

THEY R FARKING BIASE!!! HOW IS THEIR GRADING CRITERIA WHEN 6 person do the same thing n only 1 get dist!!!!! ITS ALWAYS THE LEC " PET STUDENTS" WHO GETS THE BEST GRADES!!! I DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!!! I WAN TO GO INTO UNI!!!!! IF I GOT A DIST FOR MY FYP I COULD STAND A MUCH HIGHER CHANCE TO GO INTO UNI!!! I REALLI WAN TO GET IN ARGH!!!(&&*(^*(%^&%

I DO LIKE SHIT FOR THE IAP N WHILE SOME OTHERS CAN GET DIST I GET A~!!!! PLS EVERYBODY WHO HAVE EYES CAN C I DO THE MOST FOR IAP!~!!!! I THINK THE LECTURER EYES R STUCK IN THEIR ASS!!!!!!!! N ITS NT JUS THIS 2 modules!!! IN THE PREVIOUS PAST DOCU, AND OTHER NONSENSE MODULES!!!!!!!!! N LIKE KEN GRP WHY DID ONLY THE *** GET A AND THE REST GET B!!! CAUSE THE *** IS A TEACHER PET***... FUCK U LECTURER WAN BUY PET GO OUTSIDE BUY!!!FARK THE NYP N FARK THE DFV LECTURERS FUCK THE WORLD!!!!

AND I AM NT THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS TREATED LIKE THIS I TINK MY OTHER CLASSMATES KAILI RACHAEL N WHOEVER WHO GRP WIT TEACHERS PETS DESERVE MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER!!!

AND Y R THE "PETS" ALLOWED TO SHARE 2 PPL TO 1` PANEL AND THE OTHERS 3 TO A PANEL!!! WAD WILL THE CLIENTS and VISITORS FEEL WHEN THEY SEE THIS!!! THIS WILL OBVIOUSLY FEEL THEY R THE BETTER STUDENTS!!!! AND NV GIV US 2 BOOTH NVM!!! STILL WAN ME GO BACK DO WAD IC MOVE COMPUTERS FROM BLK M TO AUDITORIUM!!! GO HIRE A BHANGRA TO MOVE URSELF U IDIOTS!!!

AND WHEN WE CONFRONT THE LECTURERS Y THE GRADING IS LIKE TT!!! THIS LEC A WHOSE NAME BEGINS WIT A SAYS HE DUNNO CAUSE DURING THE GRADIGNMEETING HE NT THERE TELL US ASK LEC J WHOSE NAME START WIT J, AND HE SAY HE DUNNO ASK LEC A. DUN TELL ME DFV LECTURERS ALL GET PAID FOR NTH GRADING SO IMPORTANT THING U ALL ALSO DUNNO!!! i pay SCH FEES FOR WAD 1!!!!

Grades r unfair, i dun tink sum ppl deserves the grades they get. LECs r BIASE. N some other ppl deserve better. er n i dun mean myself.

Grades r unfair, i dun tink sum ppl deserves the grades they get. LECs r BIASE.

I AM GOING TO NS!

helo everybody n hi eta hahaha its official i am goin to be enlisted into national service on 2nd of June 2006 8 am. it is faster den i expected. hais haven play enough. As i am in the obese they say i am going to go through wad obese military training. wth scarly obese training is practising blocking the bullets in the front line to protech ur fellow thinner soldiers. so means i am going to BMT for 15 weeks. SIAN!

wah the bloody ns quite stupid still send me a letter tt says on the eve of ur recruitment date, you are allowed to post a dedication to Power 98 fm and u can post a dedication to your friends and family. Wth, sounds like writing a will, and sld be ppl posting dedications to me rite y i post to them hahahaha!

Wah hear from eta n read mingyan blog tt a lot of ppl had quit TMVC. For those of u all who dunno. Its a realli jialat company where the PAs nv had a good life and work like cows and interns having to stay overnite for stupid digitizing (i guess i am the only lucky 1). Wah hear tt mingyan is accused of losing the petty cash money n was nt allowed to make a police report n they had to deduct their pay. Wad The HECK!

Wah now had to tink of my booth design n website for the preparation of FUSION 2006. For those of u all who dunno wads tt its a exhibition showcase of our School of Design work of the graduation batch. It will be held 27.28,29 of Apr. PPl who r free can drop by and giv me some support hohoho.

hais my plan after ns is hopefully able to go into Uni. Hais but dun tink my results wil allow me to get into local uni. i had better work on my showreel n portfolio if nt i will hav to work n save money to study overseas.

i feeling kind of weird. something is going to happen. be careful people. trust me.

Wah just now read sandee blog c the pics she post. wah hav seen hw much everybody had changed. me from not so fat to being classified as severely obese by the army medical ppl. hx sian from a auntie transform to a little girl, sandy tnay wah the hair realli quite cork but i quite like it tt time i tink hahahah, only person who haven seems to change is faj n ty.

so much has pass this few yrs, treasure every friends of mine i had here, its mus be one of my happiest few yrs in life. n tink back i still almost wan to quit jus after my first yr first df asignment but i had finally struggled through n realli enjoy wad i did here.

thanks guys for all the joy, fun, "pain" tt u had given me.

Wah time is passing fast... my veri gd cousin is getting rom in june. hahaha veri xian mu them see them together so long even since i sec sch they together liao, wah like 8 yrs liao and i am only 20 now. and he is only 2 yrs older den me... which them bai tou dao lao yong jie tong xin!!!

Since long i have bee blogging tink sld be quite a long post.

Hais alot of thing happening to my mother side again. My uncle dun tink i sld be calling him a uncle again has an affair with an indonesian girl which even born him a child which my aunt jus found out recently. even though my aunt forgive him once he still go back to her, leaving her with 4 children. my small cousin still wrote a letter to him stating she how is he willing to leave a woman who has been with you for more than 20 yrs den one u know for barely few yrs.

recently nt long my uncle also just divorced her wife, who is a super career woman, my uncle is in a bad state and sad mood everyday, his son only primary 3 still say he has no father at all.

15 more days and it has been a yr since my ah ma pass away... miss her so much, so much... thod of her everyday speaking n nagging to me in the living room... putting wallet inside my money when she saw my wallet was empty... tidying up my untidy room... n joking at me when i going to bring my gf back again cause she didn long i have broke up wit me ex yrs ago...

my shoot is finishing... going to grad soon... yet i haven finish up anything... got to push myself... feel so unmotivated to do things recently... feel veri veri tired n mentally strain everyday... where has my motivation n never say die spirit i had during my first yr gone too... i wish i could force myself to be hardworking...

Watch the Gloden Globe award this morning! was really proud to see Ang Lee Brokeback mountain winning so many big awards, best director, best screenplay, it really done us Asian so proud! he still wish all the chinese a happy new year in chinese! I really damn wish to watch tt movie soon, but tink maybe due to the movie controversial topic it might be rated r21 or censorsed until the movie become dunno wad mountain.

There are 2 popular topics of movies i feel will always being successful, first is liek gay and lesbians topics, if you can write a really touching story of this genre i tink u will definely score. Another is those poor rural contries story like african which is like City of God, Tears of the Sun, Lord of war and Hotel Rwanda. Watch City of God the second time yesterday, its such a powerful movie tt realli make u appreciate what u hav now, and the director is really such a genius, how can he tink of all this shots and style, and strong storyline. The tears of the sun is also make u argh! tt type of movie, got 1 part is the african rebels cut away women breast just because they dunwan allow them to fee their child. Wth i cant imagine if spore got this type of ppl. Anyway rem to catch up constant gardener ppl cause its the director of City of God! Yipee! alot of great movies coming up!

Yo, chinese new year is coming sort of mix moods for me, hmm chinese new year had seen different to me seens 3 years ago, cause if u guys dunno for a chinese traidtion if a person in ur family passes away tt year, you cant celeb cny for the following cny, 3 years ago my great grandma pass away, 2 years ago my grandma thus i nv celeb las yr, n las yr my grandma pass away so i am nt gonna celeb this yr again. nv celeb means like we wun make up a fuss abt it, u cant give angbaos, er and it is just like any other day.

Seldom share my family n private problems wit my friends, nt tt i dunwan to say, but maybe due to ppl opinion of me i feel sth ppl dun take seriously of what i say as i am always those easy going happy go lucky person and i tend to get emotional when tok abt this type of stuff n relationship stuff cause haven had a realli memorable n happy relationships b4. Miss those old past chinese new year wit my family, all my lrelatives going to visit my mum side grandma where she will whip up a big meal, the first round eaten by all the adults and the second round all the grandchildren. But we haven really meet up all my cousins since my grandma pass away 2 yrs ago. There is a good thing abt funeral is where u will meet all the people u wun seen for a long time, normally it is usually those unhappy thigns tht we ppl will meet up like one of my cousin tt gone rebellious get whipped up badly by a gang of people 2 mths ago den we see each other, or like my uncle divorcing my ex-aunt.

guess this yr i wun hav any reunion dinner- again, cause my mum will be working at the coffeeshop in chinatown where is the peak period during the cny eve. Okay guess i will be spending myself at home watching tv n those cny program or c if i go to my buddy cousin hse to eat wit them.

Okay sad thing enough, ok more happier things, been doing the editing of the YEP to Surin trip again, watching back all the footages bring back fond memories although there is sad 1 which make me er wan to cry almost when see faj hugging her mum, during the last teachign day in Surin at the camp, and the fun we had in Surin. I realli realli realli realli missed and enjoy those days, its like one of the happiest part of my life which i will nv forget, days i had wit my friends, hw we bond n know each other better, seeing each other ugliest self (just waking up from bed, and shitting in the toilet). Okay gonna continue editing although i am so pek chek when i do the logging until hang, GOD i nv save! must redo everything! FxxK it!

Its sunday today. one of the rainest sunday i ever seen. i love u rain but u must learn when to stop raining, cause you must understand... HOW CAN I DRY MY CLOTHES IF U KEEP RAINING!!!... cough erm. erm. er a bit fierce, but anyway get to watch narnia hohoho finalyl finish watching the 2 blockbuster of dec king kong and narnia. its all begin with everybody hav watch either one of this movies except me, and thus i was forced to watch shit movies like aeon flux, family stone, a chinese tall story. cant realli call them shit but does not worth me paying more den 7 dollars for them. narnia is a pretty good one but sorry, king kong is cuter! (am i sort of praising myself?)

ok jus watch the ren ci charity show, nv been so much affected about charity and those shows, cause its like u see at least 3 or 4 big shows like nkf kidney, nkf heart prob, renci, got another one forget wad, u c flag days everywhere, u c salvation army ppl ringing their bells during christmas, even news of nkf ppl buying gold taps, actors blaming producers of telling them to do stunts fo the shows, so i was sort of immune and no feelings to all this, but how the Reverend Ming Yi say just now, the ppl most affected are the poor patients, its liek beause of tt 1 person its sinks the whole ship. sad sad sad. so me myself make my first call out of my own pocket. 5 dollars. YEAH.

ITS 2006! er abit slow to say tt. So long nv post cause being bloody busy with stuff this week, had my iap stuff finally over after a presentation, got to go for a shoot at a veri boring place and sick of it place hospital. my fyp project also hospital!!! boring boring boring.

Finally can to reunite with my grp but it wasn;t a great start to the reuinion, kaili got food poisoning which is quite unlikely to happen cause she nv eat much anyway, azhar get BUANG! ouch! oh the first week he got his bike and fractured his arm, aut injured her poor toe playing soccer, me myself consider veri lucky compared to them a bad flu and bad throat, mus be due to the ever changing weather of spore, drink more water guys!

Wah this fyp is realli dragging man, we gotta finalise the script which always took forever, since rem the last gift days, ok tink i better forget those days, hope we can do as much as possible. And my grp is called hexagon! cause dion xu ke xin say our previous grp name noiretblanc is a jinx. er no comments for tt. if hexagon will realli bring us luck i will buy 4d 6666 cause hexagon actualli means 6 sided which is the no. of ppl in my grp.

2005 is a bad yr for me, a year to forget, a lot of things happen this year which sort of affect and changes my life and character. hope 2006 is a great yr to end my poly life.

now i am at home, in a boring sat, WHY AM I AT HOME ON A SATURDAY!!! sad sad sad.