i will never forget you...

March 21 2005, 2340, the time when my beloved grandma left me... it was so sudden... before i left school that morning... she is still in my room helping me to pack up my stuff ... the moment i reach home, 2240, my mum tell me to go down to go down to the hospital with her, say she might couldnt make it...

this grandma of mine is the closest part of my family.... even more closer to me den my parents or sibling... since i was born i was look after by her... as my parents are both busy working... i remember the days she will bring me to the park near my block... fetch me to n back from the kindergarden... buy me the fishball from the fishball auntie outside my kindergarden... stop my parents from caning me when i was naughty, accompany me to wait school bus when i was in primary school n wait downstairs for me when the bus fetch me back... even till when i was in sec or even poly she will still come to my house often to help fold our clothes clear my stuff... when she saw my wallet was empty... she will always leave some money inside my wallet for me to spend... she know me best den my mother... my favourite food, who is my good friends... what i dislike...

she was always veri healthy n fit for her age ... 76... even though she was a heavy smoker... but falling down inside the toilet n hit her head cause her death... but the doctor say is because of heart attack whick i find it ridiculous as my family doctor say that her heart n health is completly fine n healthy... but i tink it might due to the fact tt she has to look after one of my little cousin... jus 9 years old... as mu aunt jus pass away barely 5 months ago... i was 1 out of 2 of her grandson tt she had take care of her life... after her death... i saw my father cry for the first tme... it breaks my heart even more... my father was a veri quiet person, hardly laugh or talk, but when he cry... i cant take it...for the nexct 2 days whenever i was alone or saw her photo i will cry to myself... like now when i was typing this my tears drop unknowingly... i try to find wadever of her stuff i had of her now... her cigarattes her coin purse her photos...as i am afraid when i grow up old i will forget my grandma... but i know i will never forget her...

everynight whenever i was at my grandma funeral... i was alone to myself... sometimes i hope my friends will be around me to have someone to talk too... although some say wan to come but i say nvm but deep inside i hope someone will be there for me to talk too... but i fidn it hard to jus say to them directly how i feel... actualli i am veri disappointed that my best friend of 10 yrs nv come althoughi he got send me a sms to encourage me... i tink blogging is the the other alternative to thrash out all my feelings n thoughts i have keep inside for this few days as i tink i cant take it anymore 8 months ago my other grandma pass away, 5 months ago my aunt, n now my grandma... hope i will feel better after this...